My Momma's Gone

My momma passed away Saturday night. She was very peaceful, and gave us a reassurance that she was ready to go and "see Jesus." I had a wonderful time with her Friday, and we all got to say goodbye. I am so sad and she will be missed, but there is a comfort knowing she went on to recieve the prize.

Her memorial service is scheduled for Sunday the 4th at 2pm. Anyone is welcome, just let me know if you would like to know where, I just feel wierd putting it on the internet for everyone.

Thanks for all the prayers and love. God answered all of them, just in a different way than we thought. I have so much more to say, but I will update this later when I can see through my tears.

*Quick Edit*
Many have asked what the biopsy showed. My momma had pulmony fibrosis, and it is a fatal disease. It is ultimately what she died from. Her lungs were like "dried sponges" and as hard as steel. She was put on a ventalator to try and save her, but her lungs couldn't process the oxygen. Pulmonary fibrosis is a horrible disease, and is incurable. We believe that she must have had it for years and never knew it. I am glad though, I wouldn't have wanted to know... it would have made life so dramamtic.

Wednesday's update

Well, you keep hoping for good news, but I have none to give everyone. I am so exhausted and discouraged but I really need encouragement so I thought I would post and y'all can forgive me if my spelling or grammar is bad. Since I last posted so much has happened that it is hard to know where to start. On Monday they found what they call "free air" or air in her abdomen where it should not be, and completely unrelated to her lung issues. They gave us several options, and ran some tests and last night we found out that the leak was in her bowels. Her doctor felt that he needed to operate because the risk of infection was so high, even though that was the last thing her lungs needed, and so she had to go into surgery today. As he put, he felt "painted into a corner." It was the classic catch 22, the steroids she has to take for her lungs slow her body from healing and make infection symptoms harder to recognize. They performed the surgery and unfortunately the perforation was in her colon, the worse place it could be. They removed a large portion of her colon, and were forced to give her a colostomy bag. She did ok during the surgery, but because of her lungs she was unable to come directly off of the ventilator, so she is in ICU on the ventilator heavily sedated. This is not at all related to her lungs, but the steroids they have to give her to keep them working will prevent her from healing from her surgery quickly. There is a great risk of infection when you operate on the bowels, and they are watching her closely to see if anything develops. She will be in the ventilator for days, and has no idea that she could have a colostomy, so when she wakes up she will have a lot to take in. We are all in shock, we thought she might be coming home soon.

Please pray for healing for my mom. Please pray for her to have no infections. We need her too bad to loose her to this. Thanks for all of your thoughts. Keep them coming. You help me more than you could ever know.

I am trying to be strong... but it is hard. Love you guys and thanks for everything.

A Quick Note about my Mom

Well, we got here and I got to see Momma Saturday morning. Her doctor told my dad that the preliminary results are good. She appears to have inflammation, not tumors or infection, but there is no answer to why. I was expecting her to be weak from surgery and possibly in pain, but she is not really in any pain. I was pretty sad when we left last night, because in the 8 or more hours I was up there, Mom made no progress breathing better. She has been on steroids for 6 days and she is not improving lung/breathing wise at all. I am so very thankful that she is not in pain and that she is feeling better, but she is not improving her breathing at all. She is breathing so shallow, and today the doctor tried to take down her oxygen intake and she had a pretty bad incident just going from the bed to the toilet 2 feet away. She had a good nurse in ICU that would get in her face and tell her to breath slow and deep, and also keep her honest about how she was doing, but her other nurses let her tell them that she is doing great and say things like "you are the best judge of how you are feeling." Really? She thought that her bathroom trip that her oxygen levels dropped so low was her best time up yet?!?! Does that sound like she knows how she is doing?

Please pray for her tonight and tomorrow. She is off of all of her monitors, which is so very scary to me. Now, no one will be alerted if she starts breathing poorly, and they only check her vitals every 8 hours! It is so insane to me that she doesn't have more supervision, and to make it worse, she is the farthest room from the nursing station that is on a different hall from her. I am going to have to trust that the Lord will watch over her and protect her. If not I will go crazy.

Brandon left today to go home, and I will be here until Mom is home and settled, which could be a long time (a week or two). I miss him, and I know it is so selfish and silly, but I hate being away from him. I won't go on and on, I know that my military wife friends would want to strangle me for being such a baby about being away from him. I just haven't been away from him since we got married for more than a day, so this is new and with my mom being so sick I miss him being here to support me.

I will try to post as soon as she comes home. It may be tomorrow. I do not know really what the goal is to get her home. Thanks for all the prayers and emails. They are a comfort beyond what you could imagine.

The Waiting Game Begins

Momma had her surgery this morning and is out and recovering. She will be in the ICU for at least 24 hours while they monitor her. They were able to get a good sample of tissue, so now we wait while they test it for everything under the sun. They were not able to tell anything by just looking at the sample, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I will be glad to see Momma when we get to Dallas, it has been really hard to be so far away.

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts. Don't stop yet, we still need to find out what has taken over her lungs!

Update on Momma

Well, Momma will have her biopsy tomorrow (Thursday) morning. She will have a large section of lung removed to be studied. Well, I think that it is large, they told her it will be about the size of her thumb. She will have to remain in the ICU for at least 24 hours to watch her chest tube and monitor her breathing.

Please pray for her safety and for the surgeon's skill tomorrow. Unfortunately, the doctor's have very little clue what is going on with her. They have told her it looks like she was exposed to toxins for several years. That scares me because it could mean that the damage is long term. We all need a little comfort, especially my momma who is terrified of the surgery. I will post when I know more after her surgery tomorrow.

Brandon and I will be leaving to go see her Friday, even though she keeps telling me that we do not need to. This weekend is ACU's homecoming and we were planning on going to that, but I do not think that I would enjoy the festivities knowing that my mom is lying in a hospital bed.

Thanks for your prayers, as my anxiety level fluctuates, I am reminded that my friends are out there praying for her.

Now I just wish that we could have Hugh Laurie from House come and look at her! He would be able to figure out what is wrong!

Prayer Request

My mom has had pneumonia for about 4 weeks, and they put her in the hospital today. She has been at home with oxygen for about two weeks, and they haven't seen enough improvement. She seems to be in good spirits, but I know that she really did not want to have to be hospitalized. My prayer is that she can get the medicine that she needs, and that she can recover quick. I ask for your prayers for my mom and dad. It is so hard being this far away from her and not being able to be there with her. It helps knowing that my friends and "webfriends" are praying for her recovery.

***UPDATE***

Well, after a sonogram they did to determine where they needed to drain Momma's lungs, they discovered there was no fluid. They did a CAT scan, and they now do not think that she has pneumonia. The doctor told her today that it looks like she has been exposed to toxins for an extended amount of time. They have scheduled a lung biopsy for tomorrow to see what it is that has infected her lungs. Please be in prayer for her and for our family. We are all a little startled by the news today. I will post as much as I can as soon as I can. Thanks again for your prayers.