Thanks guys for all of your encouraging comments. I agree with the majority that say to keep blogging about the real stuff. So here I go...
I miss my Momma. Every day I think of her. I catch myself thinking about talking to her about something, or forget for just a second that she is gone, and my heart aches all over again. I know that it has been awhile, almost 5 months, but I still hurt. Lately we have had some disappointments and I have never needed Momma's advice more. While our relationship wasn't perfect in the past, since adulthood Momma and I had become close. Any time something happened, I would call her for her advice, and mostly for her prayers. I think that not knowing she is there to pray for me is the hardest of all. After every bad call I got working for the state I would call her and have her pray for the child involved. She would never forget what I had asked her to pray about, and she would always follow up on it with me later. Any time someone was sick, one call to her and I knew that they would be covered in prayer.
Brandon and I have made a huge change moving away from our families, and it has been the best decision we have made (I will blog about that later), but it hasn't been without its hardships. I have been lonely, and thankfully have made wonderful friends that help with that, but we experienced another loss just recently. The friends that helped us move out here have separated themselves from us. It has been stressful and couldn't have come at a worse time. All I have wanted to do is call Momma and tell her what has happened. I want to hear what she would tell me to do. It is so hard that I cannot. It isolates me even more.
Grief is such a difficult emotion to overcome. It can be overwhelming. It takes over my dreams, my thoughts, and clouds everything that is going on around me. Struggles that we are having wouldn't be as bad if I wasn't grieving. But I can't pretend anymore. I am grieving. I do not know how long it will take to feel better. I have felt better a little bit everyday, but setbacks are hard to overcome. I know that others have experienced losses, how did you recover? What did you do to help you when you ached for a lost loved one?
Thanks for your patience and understanding. I am glad to be back blogging, I hope you are glad too!
Update from Jackie
8 years ago