Wednesday, April 23, 2008

New Adventure

Well, I have debated about whether to tell all my five readers about this, but I decided that I will. I have decided to start a weight loss journey. I would rather call it a "lifestyle change", but until I have lost about 50 pounds I need to focus on the weight loss. My sweet husband has decided to join me, and we have already seen a little progress in just a few days. We are doing a home version of Weight Watchers since there is not a meeting close enough to justify driving. I just want to get healthy. Brandon and I would like to start a family in the next couple of years, and I need to get my body in better shape before we start that. I have learned while taking care of a little one all day, that I need to be a lot healthier to deal with chasing a baby around 24/7. I know that others out there have struggled and overcome with their own weight loss journeys, so any advice and ideas is welcome.

On another completely unrelated note, a certain person called me a "depressed" "shut-in" that needs to "get over" the loss of Momma (paraphrased, but those were the exact phrases used). At first I was livid. How dare someone say this about me, they said this to a friend in town, not even to my face. She hasn't talked to me in about two months, so obviously she has no idea what I have been up to or feeling recently. But after I have thought about it for awhile, I feel sorry for this person. How sad to judge me and my life, especially blindly. I am no where near shut in. I get out daily, going to shop, going over to friends houses, etc. I just haven't hung out with her. Also, how terrible that she thinks you need to get over grief. It is impossible to get over grief. I will never apologize for grieving right now. My sweet hubby has felt the brunt of this attack, reassuring me that there is no certain period of time that I should be over this, and that he knows it will never go away.

How have you out there that have dealt with grief dealt with people like this? How do you handle those that judge you for being sad, and are critical of your ways of grieving? Grief is such a private and personal thing, but yet, so many feel that they need to tell you exactly what to do and what to feel. I know that I have used food to silence painful thoughts, and that is why I am the weight that I am. I would be foolish to think that I could change my eating habits without being honest about my feelings. It is going to be a struggle to not eat my way through hard times, but I want to learn how.

10 comments:

Davita said...

Dee,

I am proud of you for deciding to do Weight Watchers! I know you will be successful. Do you want me to email you some recipes?

I can’t wait to hear about your progress…maybe that will help motivate me a little! I know that being cold and wearing bulky sweaters all winter hasn’t exactly motivated me to eat better. : )

Grief is a very personal process. I haven’t seen you since your Mom passed, but I can guarantee you that you are handling it far better than I ever could. Mary would be so proud of you, and I am too! You have been through so much in the past six months, and you deserve time to process it all. I’m proud of you for realizing that and taking that time for yourself.

Cannot wait to hear how the WW goes! Keep us (and I’m pretty sure you have more than 5 blog readers) informed.

I hope to see you soon! Interested in a trip to AK?

Davita

Rachel said...

I'm reading, Deedee! Weight loss...South Beach did wonders for me. I'm down almost 20 lbs since last June without a whole lot of effort.

Grief...I've been told that I am in the grieving process about our infertility, so I'm right there with you. I'm grieving the baby I can't concieve. Lots of people say the wrong things to me. Almost daily. I've had suggestions to seek counseling, among other things. I think People don't know what to say and even MORE people just dont understand your pain. And there's no way they will til they experience it for themselves. Just remind yourself that your friends have your best interest at heart and while they will continue to say the wrong things at the wrong times, its not intentional. They really believe they are helping you move on.

Love reading whats going on with you. Maybe I'll run into you up at ACU one day!

Brooke said...

It seems so harsh for someone to say that! My first reaction is to tell you to dump this friend - she doesn't deserve someone like you. BUT, I recently read "The Shack" and I'm learning to be more compassionate. I'm not perfect and I should never judge anyone, no matter how easy it seems to be. None of us know or understand what another has gone through before in their life. I think you should read the book too. It is a Christian fiction book that may give you a different glimpse of God, especially as you go through this tough time. Love you, Dee Dee!

Brandon said...

Life is too short to be bothered by people who are that petty and self centered. I know you're supposed to forgive and forget and all that baloney, but that's more work than some people deserve. I can say with much certainty that the people that matter know the real you and those that make up stories about the way they think you are can take a long walk off a...well you get the idea. We'll just keep being the "shut-ins" we are while going to Clovis twice a week, seeing our friends 5 times a week, and all that other stuff we do while apparently not leaving the house. Gosh I'm so depressed! LOL

Brandon said...

BTW, I should point out that I'm not really depressed, that was sarcasm for those who might latch on to that and start rumors. :D

Dana said...

Good for you on the WW program. Tracy has been doing it since November and is doing so good! You will really notice a change in yourself, "lifestyle" change once you get good and into it. I pray for an easy transition in this for you.
On the grief, I laughed when I saw Brooke's comment because I was going to recommend The Shack as well. I know, even 5 years later, I still deal with my grief on some level or another from our precious baby Jackson and this showed in so many was God's love through this. I HIGHLY recommend it, and will personally get you a copy if you want me to! Don't listen to your friend either, your sweet hubby has it right, there is no time limit on grief, and just lift your feelings to Him and He will carry you through.
We love you Dee and though you might not always feel like we are out there praying for you and your sweet family, we are here.

Sarah P. said...

I happen to come across your blog through friends of some friends. I am with you on the weight loss stuff!
About the grief, I just hope your friend doesn't read your blog. I don't know if you are just trying to get a reaction out of people to tell you how great you are or just venting.
Just from past experience, I would check your resources before jumping to conclusions about he said/she said.

Amanda said...

On the weight loss thing exercise is key which includes cardio and weight training. I've been through that and now I'm happily maintaining after losing 55lbs.

thoroughlyamused said...

Oh...poor poor Sarah P...how threatened are we by a blog? It's abundantly clear who you are. Way to try to kick someone while they are down, your comments speak volumes for your class and sophistication. If you are a friend of her "friend" then it is no wonder she would be angry. Sounds like someone is feeling guilty....
I am...thoroughly amused.

Brandon & Dee said...

Please read my new blog, I responded to this line of chatter in there. Thanks for reading my dear friends.